There are two designations that we see more commonly today than ever before. They reference the “nones” and SBNR. The “nones” refer to the increasing number of Americans who identify with no religion at all, and SBNR is shorthand for “spiritual but not religious.” Not surprisingly, there is a healthy overlap between the two groups. An increasing number of people will answer this question–Can I be spiritual without being religious–with a resounding yes.

The question itself hides another question underneath: what is the value of religion these days? The answer, for me, is complicated. On the one hand, religions, religions function to hold together in one place a connection to the beliefs, practices and traditions of meaning that each one proclaims. This is valuable. Any one of us has a place (or more accurately, a community) to which we can turn for a deeper understanding of what it means to practice that particular religion. Each religion embodies ways of seeing the world that their community values. Most people in most religions are happy to share their beliefs, practices and traditions of meaning with those who inquire sincerely. 

On the other hand, religions have been created, shaped, and governed by human beings. Every human hand, heart and mind that governs a religion leaves its mark on how that religion functions. We have to be honest about how easily that can turn into a vehicle of control OVER people rather than an investment into meaning WITH people. Religions have been repositories of meaning, beacons of light and help for untold numbers of human beings. Religions have also caused much pain and suffering, destruction and grief throughout human history. Religious history is, as I said before, complicated.

Religion is not required to find one’s own spirituality, and any religion that is meaningful can be a help along the way. This is one of the things that may become clearer to us through conversations with a spiritual director. Just what role does religion play for me or has it played in my life? What opens my heart and mind to the work of spirit–stepping into a religious path, or stepping out of one? It might be some of both depending on where one is in one’s life journey. 

I’ll close with an analogy. Do I need a collection of cookbooks to make good meals for my family? Maybe. Maybe not. What I need is the desire to work with good food items and find some ways to blend them together that are both healthy and tasty.  Cook books might help, giving me guidance that I would not have seen on my own for a long time.  And, they might just overwhelm me and burden me with rules and practices that I don’t find helpful.

I have a potato, a carrot and an onion. Let’s talk about what we might do with those for dinner tonight!

~Robert Patrick

If these kinds of questions and experiences sound familiar, you might find spiritual direction a good way to explore them.  Here’s how to get started with me.